Life is a stand still.. it's not like I'm looking for the love of my life.. I just want those around me to tell me they love me, and that they actually see me.. I always say the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and that would be Sarah, but sometimes this quiet wheel needs oil too... I just want to be heard, and I feel that I'm not... not from anyone here, nor by God... it's like I'm talking and no one is listening. And what is worst is that I don't even know what I'm saying, or even know what I want to say, or what I should be saying... I have no idea what I want anymore, and it frightens me. I've always had a plan, ya know? I mean I know in general what I want.. I want my licensing for marriage and family, I want a house.. I don't want kids.. I don't want pets... I don't want debt... but what do I really want? I want to travel, I want to be held, I want to be special, I want to be someone.. but who, exactly? I have no idea... this is scary.. like I don't know what I'll be at the weight I'm supposed to be... I don't know what life will be like shopping in a normal size. This fear is just vast...
She responded with this:
I think youre silly, because you have always been beautiful and youre finally starting to realize it. Remember that you are an amazing person at whatever size you are, you have been an amazing friend since we met and that hasn’t changed when a lot of stuff has. YOU ARE SPECIAL.
Even if you don’t know what to say, if you ever want to just talk just text or email, I’ll listen. We are only 22, its ok to not have it all figured out. I mean think how boring the next 40 years would be if we already had everything worked out?
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