Procrastinating

This is procrastination at it's finest! I SHOULD be working on my 15 page paper but instead I am blogging.. I cannot concentrate for the life of me! :(

Not much has changed.. Still have lost anymore weight.. still struggling with my diet and gym-ing it up. Things are just rough at the moment. I've been super busy which had taken all my focus so things like my diet and gym have fallen to the wayside. I am known for this to happen, but I have yet to figure out how not to have it happen. If I could just get this down, I know I'd be more successful..

Things with R.W. are going good. We have our ups and downs, like any relationship. I learned this past week that I never really let anyone in. Not even Jesus, really. I can let anyone in to a point, because well that's normally where everyone stops. No one dares to get even closer or to go deeper. However, R.W. pointed out that I had been pushing him away, but really it was I just wasn't letting him in more when he tried. To be honest, dear reader,  I am very afraid. Afraid because even those who have been in for a millisecond or close to the edge have rejected me... and I am afraid it will happen again... very afraid it will happen again. So... along with struggling with my own self-image and dieting.. I need to work on opening up more.. but I have no idea really how or if I can at this moment.

Okay, I really need to go write some more on my paper and not my blog... good bye dear reader!