Day 6

I'm back!! Yesterday wasn't feeling too hot! Actually went to bed pretty early because of it, and therefore I did not blog! :(

If I only knew what to write about... I feel like all I'm doing here is complaining. I probably am, lol. I am telling my story but I feel like I'm telling you this (whoever you are) just so you'll understand me, or you'll pity me.. which is what I do not want. Granted it is nice if others knew why I did the things I do but that really isn't the purpose of it and not everyone desires to understand me.

Maybe I'll just blog about what I want to accomplish this and pray and then we'll be done for today! (Yes, I know that rhymed!)

Well first and foremost I want my knee problem fixed. Today I had my first physical therapy (PT) and I don't really understand completely how PT is going to put my knee cap in place. This year has been the worst year health wise for me. 2 days before I left England I got strep throat, 3 weeks after my birthday I sprained my ankle for the first time, I had strep 3 times in August which made the doctors take my tonsils and adenoids out in October. Had surgery in October, after 3 weeks of recovering, 1 infection and several complications later I dislocated my left knee cap in November and here it is almost January again. We joke at my house how my warranty has expired.. I wish someone had told me it would have ended at 21. That would have been nice, lol!

Next, I'm going to the doctor on Wednesday to talk about getting tested for a few things that I'm concerned about. I'm not going to be sharing about what, sorry. I actually haven't told anyone and if I'm right about something I'll cry. Cry tears of joy, and tears of fear too. But we will have to wait several more weeks on that! :) I have some more health stuff but really you don't want or need to know.

As for school.. I'd like to have my GRE and applications done by January. Masters program deadlines usually end in March. This gives me enough time to do this. I also want to start/finish my quilt before school ends. It would be nice to have my AEΦ quilt before I become an alumna. Wow, in a few months I'll be an alumna. That's a bit scary to think about right now.

Personally, I want to deal with my pride. I've got lots of it, lol! I want to deal with my fear of rejection, and my irrational beliefs I've previously talked about. I also want to figure out why i don't feel comfortable in social situations especially with guys. I don't know why, but when I'm with guys I'm very uncomfortable. This probably stems from middle school, but I'll deal with later.

Spiritually, I really don't know what I want for this year. Not to have a broken heart? That would be nice. Actually I would like to find a really good church. I want to find home. That's what I want. Right now where I am, well where I've been is not really home. I shouldn't have to try to fit in at home (well that statement actually is true at my house or home but it shouldn't in the body). Home is home. Churches are filled with imperfect people but am I so imperfect that I shouldn't be accepted home too? I don't think so! So.. I'll be blogging about my church search, lol, soon!

This year has just got to be better than last. It really does!! I don't think I can handle another 2009 year, and thankfully I don't! Ok i'm done.. I don't know how I've done 5 blogs in 6 days.. I really don't!!